How do you process grief and find your way forward after the death of the person who made you feel most at home in the world?
Musician, author, and CEO of the Tessa Jowell Foundation, Jess Mills, joins psychotherapist Julia Samuel to discuss the loss of her mother, former Labour MP and cabinet minister Dame Tessa Jowell. Together, they explore how profound grief reshapes our understanding of motherhood, family, and identity.
Just ten weeks after giving birth to her first daughter, Jess learned her mother had terminal brain cancer. Already navigating anxiety following a traumatic birth, she found herself balancing the intense joy of new motherhood with caring for her dying mother. In this episode, she reflects on the overwhelming grief that followed, the complexities of family mourning, and the difficult decision to sell their family home.
Eight years on, Jess shares how her processing of grief has evolved, why writing her book We Are Each Other helped her make sense of the tragedy, and how she is learning to embrace a new chapter in life.
Join Jess and Julia as they delve into how grief transforms us, why feeling loved is essential, and how our ongoing relationships with those who have died continue to shape our emotional growth. Jess also shares the extraordinary comfort of knowing there was nothing left unsaid between her and her mother, whose final words were simply: “love forever.”
Please note: This episode contains discussions of terminal illness, traumatic childbirth, anxiety, and bereavement.
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Mentioned in this episode:
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction: Jess Mills on grief, motherhood and love
01:03 Writing We Are Each Other
03:15 Finding permission to move forward after grief
06:31 Becoming a mother while her own mother was dying
10:39 How grief and joy can coexist
12:42 Why love builds resilience
17:26 Why grief isn't linear
19:01 Learning to live alongside grief
21:20 How families grieve differently
43:22 Mother & Daughter Reflection: Julia, Sophie and Emily
48:04 Finding meaning and purpose after grief
51:43 When birth and death happen together
55:43 How love and trauma pass through generations
If you found this conversation helpful:
You may also enjoy Julia's conversation with Rosanna Brown, exploring profound grief, the impact of bereavement on family life and finding a way forward after tragedy.
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